Episode 9: Untitled

Ivan ran all the way home, and when he came through the door, witnessed a most peculiar sight in the front room.

The Greasy Trout held two fighting and squawking chickens between his knees, wringing their necks. Ivan's father and mother were both tied to chairs and gagged. Jnii was sitting very peacefully in a chair.... Ivan did a double-take. It wasn't a chair. A Justice Knight was bound and gagged, on his hands and knees and Jnii -- well -- Jnii was sitting on his back.
When Jnii recognized Ivan, she jumped up.
"Thought you were a Justice Knight!" she cried. "I was -- er -- trying to hide the one we beat up."
She looked down at the Justice Knight coyly, and he rolled his eyes up, still on his hands and knees, and seemed to look coyly at her too, except that it was hard to tell whether the knight was flirting or just in pain. The Greasy Trout scowled and broke both the chickens' necks.
"Did your plan work?" Jnii cried.
"Almost didn't, but it did. I heard you scream...."
If it were possible, Jnii would have blushed. She lowered her head and looked bashful, at least, and said, "I didn't mean for it to be so loud."
"Eh?"
"Those Justice Knights have such hands on them!"
The Greasy Trout guffawed. Jnii looked mildly offended. "She didn't scream because of any Justice Knight's hands!" he cried. "She screamed to make a diversion, that's all!"
Jnii stuck her chin up. "It was a little of both," she said, defiantly.
Trout smiled at her rakishly and put a foot up on a nearby chair. "Well, whatever it was, it worked. The girl screamed when that Justice Knight came through the door, and I jumped him.... Jumped him, as in -- you know -- beat him up. I'm straight."
Jnii beamed and sidled up to him. "You can say that again, mister."
Ivan furrowed his eyebrows and stared at them.
The Greasy Trout smiled and drew himself up. "Nothing like a -- straight -- man -- to -- yeah."
At this moment, the bound Justice Knight managed to spit out his gag, and declared, as his handlebar moustache quivered, "Zut allors!" But the Greasy Trout gave him a quick kick in the ribs, and he dared say no more.
Ivan looked around the room curiously. "What are my parents doing tied up?"
"Oh, don't worry about them," The Greasy Trout said.
"Who tied them up?"
Jnii laughed. "Well, we did, of course. The Trout's real good at tying up." She smiled at The Greasy Trout, who jumped and started to lace his boots tighter.
"Well -- gotta go! Better get on the road! Justice Knights after me and all!" He picked up his bag and bound for the door.
"Wait!" Ivan caught hold of his arm. "You can't go now! They're burning our village!"
"Collateral damage!" The Greasy Trout bellowed, and he overturned a table and started for the door again.

At that moment, the noises outside ceased, completely. Everyone in the room quieted and listened. Even Ivan's parents stopped squirming. There was nothing, no sound.

The Greasy Trout stealthily approached the front door and opened it a crack, looking outside. He opened the door wider and stuck his head out. Finally, he swung the door open to its full capacity and turned to look at the rest in wonder.

Outside, many villagers, who had been screaming and running around and in a general upset a moment before, were lounging around looking dazed.

"Hullo there!" the Trout called to a nearby villager. "What happened to the Justice Knights?"
"They're all gone!" the villager called back. "They just all suddenly went green and ran off into the woods! I'm feeling kinda cheated, myself!"
The Trout slammed the door shut and turned to his companions, overjoyed. "This is my chance to run! Little Apple--tree--lane--thing.... You did it!"
Ivan felt a surge of pride race through him. It felt strangely like the feeling you get when you've been held upside down for a few hours.
The Greasy Trout clasped Ivan's hand, then darted for the door and left. A moment went by, with everyone staring after the Trout (including the Justice Knight). Suddenly, Jnii let out a little cry, and she ran out the door too.

Ivan looked at his parents, who looked at him and squirmed and made little protesting noises. Ivan looked at the door.

Ivan ran out too.